Hungry Much?
by WolverinesDarlin
Summary: Shepard is REALLY hungry. Rupert isn't there to help with that, so what does one overly hungry and irratated Shepard do? Make a mess of course. Inspired by a convo I had with Cally Starkiller Oneshot


_Dedicated to Cally Starkiller, I was inspired by a conversation I had with her. _

_Thank's Cal'_

_Disclaimer: I don't own MassEffect or the characters._

_http:/ .com/ watch?v=npFBRp716Qw - at 1:38 of this trailer is the scream that Shepard does. Just for reference. Heh._

**MASSEFFECT**

Shepard wrapped her arms around her stomach, staring at her prite terminal in her room. She was reviewing the the team status, how each were doing physically and mentally and what needed to be done.

Her stomach growled again, causing her to growl back. "Shut up." She smacked her stomach to try and send a message, it stopped… for now.

Shepard opened her omni tool and checked the time, lunch was in an hour, she was certain she could hold off 'til then.

Her stomach didn't agree.

"Okay! Okay! I'll get something to eat." She yelled down at her stomach.

Shepard huffed and got out of her swivvel chair and headed for the elevator, pressing the button to summon it. When the doors opened she got in and smacked the button for the Mess Hall. The ride down was quiet, which made her happy. She looked up at the now missing speaker and smirked. After she had shot out the speaker with her pistol so many times they stopped fixing it and just got rid of it all together. Leaving the ride in the elevator happily silent and without annoying noise.

The doors dinged open and Shepard stepped out, as she turned the corner and started walking for the kitchen she shouted so her cook, Rupert could get a head start on her snack.

"Rupert, I'm hungry and my tummy is telling me I can'tg wait 'til- Rupert?" She didn't see him at the counter like he usually was, and there were no crew members around, which she thought was strange until she remembered that they were on shore leave on Illium.

Shepard huffed and walked up to the fridge, getting food items out one by one and throwing them on the counter. There was nothing.

Shepard huffed again and moved to the cabinents. "Still nothing…" Her stomach growled in protest, "Shuddup I'm looking." She hollored down again, growing irratated.

"Dextro… dextro…. dextro…. pepperoni… yuck…. dextro…" Shepard muttered under her breath everything she found and tossed either on the counter or floor, searching for anything at all.

"Yes!" She said in elation, a box of Veggie Rits crackers had found their way into her hands. "foooood." She opened the box only to find it empty, with the rows of plastic packaging still in the empty box. "Well damn." She through the box down with force onto the cluttered floor.

She moved back to the fridge and opened up the freezer part, "Oh my god. Seriously?" Shepard huffed again and slammed the door closed making the whole thing shake. She leaned against the far counter, much like Rupert had done so many times before and sighed, now ignoring her growling stomach.

The floor was covered with dextro foods, empty containers and boxes, and other foods she did not like. "Go figure." She pouted crossing her arms over her chest and staring at the mess.

Then on the corner of her eye she saw something. In her mind she could hear the Angel's chorus, and a beam of light seemed to reveal her stomach's salvation.

On the floor, in the middle of all the clutter was a box of old time macaroni and cheese. As she reached down she could feel the heaviness of the box tell her, and her stomach, that there was indeed macaroni in the box.

Shepard held it in the air above her head and let out a happy and triumpiant, 'angel' scream.

She immediately went to work, pulling out the necessary ingrediants for the cheese and a pot filled with water and making her snack before lunch.

After finishing putting it into a bowl, Shepard took the steaming, chessy, yumminess back to the elevator and into her Cabin. "Time to finish my work." She put a forkfull into her mouth and laughed once it was swallowed when at that precise moment her stomach stopped growling.

"Happy now?" She laughed again and pressed the elevator door button for her room.

**MASSEFFECT**

Miranda came out of her room, feeling hungry and wondering if she could get anything to eat before the scheduled lunch. She came out of her room but when she turned to the kitchen she gasped.

"Oh my god." Miranda walked up to the kitchen counter and looked around the whole area in shock awe and disgust. "Rupert!" Miranda spun on her heel and called for him. Rupert came from the men's bathroom just as soon as she called the first time.

"Ms. Lawson, there a problem?" He asked and walked up to her but when he saw his kitchen he too became shocked and disgusted. "What happened?" He asked, staring at his precious kitchen sadly.

"I was hoping you could tell me." Miranda crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.

Rupert shook his head violently and stared at her in surprise. "You think *I* did this?" He asked and pointed to himself. "I would never do this."

"Well you get to clean it up." Miranda said, her lips pursed. She flipped her hair behind her shoulder and walked back to her room. "And I'm hungry, find something to make for lunch."

Once the door hissed closed Rupert scoffed and grabbed at his broom and started sweeping at the mess that covered his usually spotless floor.

**MASSEFFECT**

_How was it? Please review and let me know. _


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